Okay, a completely hypothetical situation.

You are at a crowded restaurant with a large group of people, say twelve, and one person has been assigned to place the family style order for the table. In normal circumstances you would think the communication between two people at a distance of three feet apart would be a simple matter. Did I mention in this purely hypothetical situation that one side of the table is filled with five college freshman? I guess I also forgot to mention that this hypothetical restaurant is a popular place on a Saturday night, which is strange because you would think an Americanized Italian joint to be empty on a Saturday evening. This unexpected popularity brings a new dynamic to the situation in that the table in question is surrounded by other tables filled with large groups of people who are all holding conversations so important to the fate of humanity that they feel the need to make sure they speak load enough for Mars to hear. For those of you who are a bit slow on the uptake, in sum the area around our hypothetical dinner – waiter order interaction is a tad bit on the noisy side.

Amongst the ruckus going on around the water waiter and the dinner the dinner informed the waiter that the table would like to have “Chicken Parmesan” and “Chicken Saltimbocca” for their main courses. The waiter nodded in an affirmation of comprehension and carried about his normal business.

Approximately twenty minutes later six steaming hot platters worth of food to feed nine people were delivered to the table. You are wondering how we went from twelve two nine people aren’t you? In this overly detailed thought experiment one person had health concerns. Two people did not agree with the choices voted upon by the table so decided to sassed and form their own dinning nation. It just so happens that this dinning nation also stayed attached to our dinning nationAs an aside, wouldn’t it be awesome if you didn’t like the outcome of a vote and you had the option to secede your land from the group you didn’t agree with?. As the platters were being sat down on the table one of our dinners cried foul “Where is the “Chicken Parm” and what is this other thing?” The delivering waiter’s response, “Chicken Picatta”. [Pause for effect…] Still don’t get it? Remember that little conversation we just had about the noise level? Okay I will spell it out for you, which by the way is no small feat for me: “Chicken Parmesan” can sound like “Chicken Picatta” when mixed in with the previously described ambient noise.

This story is now a choose your own adventure book. So I ask you the reader, what would you do now? Option A: graciously except the delicious looking and smelling Picatta, B: Turn away the Picatta and demand your Parmesan? Things to remember when making your decision. There are three platters of the Picatta sitting on your table. You have already eaten your way through two courses and have three more correct ones sitting on your table plus the Picatta. The noise. The unexpected busy crowed. Basic human decency.

Let’s cover option B first. First you get to witness the waiter fall into a guarded state of disarray knowing he has to carry at least $40 worth of perfectly good food back to the kitchen to tell them he put in the order wrong. Then this perfectly good food will most likely be thrown away. If your luck is up then the food was at least put out for the staff to munch on when they have a second to breathe between customers such as yourself. You then get to eat your way through the Chicken Saltimbocca and two scrumptious pastas for fifteen minutes while you wait for the Chicken Picatta to start routing in the garbage and your Chicken Parmesan to be cooked by now very grumpy cooks For those of you who have not worked in food industry, you do not want grumpy cooks, it may not be as bad as Waiting, but in general its just not a good idea. The Chicken Parmesan is then delivered to your table just about the time you are wishing you were wearing pants with an elastic band. You then eat one bite of the Chicken Parmesan you wanted so badly and then you are saddened by the fact you can’t eat any more of it because of your indulgence in all the other food. So in recap, the waiter isn’t happy, the cooks aren’t happy, the management probably isn’t thrilled isn’t happy, and you’re not happy. But you did get your Chicken Parmesan.

The results of option A are slightly different. You get to enjoy some very delicious Chicken Picatta along with the Chicken Saltimbocca and some delicious pasta. You end up with lots of leftovers of all four items but you got to enjoy portions of each and were delighted by all. As an extra added bonus the hypothetical restaurant nocked a few dollars off your bill in apology for the understandable miscommunication. In this case the waiter is relieved he didn’t have to carry all that food back to the kitchen to incur the wrath of the cooks, the management isn’t thrilled the waiter made a mistake but it happens to the best of them and they know he will grow from the experience, you are delightfully full and get to sleep peacefully tonight knowing you took the high ground. In sum everyone’s happy and the net chi benefit of the universe is a positive.

Since this is just a thought experiment I am going to take advantage of my writer’s purgative and leave it up to you to decide which road to take.